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When Love and Heartache Dance

Updated: Sep 9, 2020

Last week I had to say goodbye to Love as I knew it to two different people.

Two very different kinds of love.

First was my daddy. I climbed in his lap for one last picture before boarding a plane to fly across the country for the next year.

As I captured a piece of my favorite childhood photo of my sisters and I sitting on daddy's lap as he read to us from the bible, the Dance of Love and Heartache began...

He's suffering the effects of dementia due to Parkinson's. His smile and little laugh as I sat on his lap, not sure he was with me in the present. The aching question would he know me when I return ripped at my heart, twisting it, fighting tears, Love and Heartache danced.

If you know my father it's a love that's easy. He's always been an example of the Love of The Father. From my eyes, Love comes effortless to him.

Five days later I got the news that a precious friend was transitioning to Hospice and we were invited to send her a video message. I struggled to find the words to express the love I felt for her and what she meant to me. I wouldn't say goodbye, I wouldn't cry!

The music started, my heart was breaking at the thought I would never see her again... anger and pain joined in as Love and Heartache Danced.

I turned to my journal where I have my deepest conversations with God. I asked Him "why do you have to take Doris? I can't believe that I will never see her glowing face again here on earth." He said I Love you Sandra. "I know you love me but give me a deeper understanding of that. Let me truly understand the fullness of that love. Help me to be an example of that love to others. Help me to be all that you brought me her to be and do."

He did ~

The next day as I pulled out my journal, the dance began again.

I cried and asked my Papa God how I could lover her so much after just a short time of knowing her. For many years now His passion for me to love like He does has been a theme in my life. He said "that's the Love of the father" and the dance ragged ~ pushing and pulling me in directions I didn't want to go, had not experienced before.

The pain settled and the realization began to set in...this is the love He wants me, for you to have for everyone life's path brings us too. She is a gift. A gift of Love... A living example of how to truly Love.

I know I'm far from it but I now have a beautiful example of what I'm capable of and I know I'll continue to risk...The Dance.


I encourage you to grab your journal and talk about the Love and Heartache Dance with our

Papa God.

I hope you will share this with anyone you know who may need encouragement in The Dance.

If that's you, please respond here or email me at and let me know how I can be praying for you. Blessings!!


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